netherlands – uruguay live from the office

(vuvuzelas)

dutch national anthem: it begins like the ‘twelve days of christmas’ carol. it stops short before ‘… and a partridge in a pear tree’

the orange color of the dutch – you surely know those fluorescent makers

4′ first shot at goal: kuyt. sponsored. perfect illustration for ‘fly emirates’

13′ sneijder carefully protects his private jewels against a ball from his mate van persie

15′ the 1st beer can is empty

18′ van bronckhorst scores! beautiful effort. it killed that poor spider at the angle of the goal

20′ still nothing to say about uruguay

25′ nice closeup of caceres (i think it’s caceres). the first time i notice the sissy pattern of uruguay’s socks

30′ sneijder is yellow carded after hitting an opponent form the back. with his dick. in the ass. fortunately they have their shorts on

36′ someone should tell victorino that a goatee without a moustache is like mourning when no one’s dead

41′ it’s 1-1. forlan finally justifies his name being mentioned 1041 times by the commentators

42′ another beer leaves the fridge

45′ 2 extra minutes before peeing

 [soft drink. mobile phones. beer. wine. mobile phones. cars. beer. engine oil. beer. mobile phones. sports bets. sports gear. soft drink.]

2nd half

46′ ol’ podna says ‘lemme try that beer’

50′ stekelenburg tackles an opponent outside the penalty area. good luck with your feet, goalie!

59′ my first doubts about the skills of this uzbek referee. or is it uzbekistani? uzbekistanese?

65′ go boy! tear off his collar! a dutch pulls hard, the ref doesn’t notice

69′ robben joins the ‘fly emirates’ club

70′ this calls for another beer. it’s 2-1 for the netherlands

71′ what’s for dinner? he doesn’t care about the game

73′ 3-1!!! baldy (robben) strikes! head goal

so, big deal – the south americans had 4 teams in the quarter-finals. so what

80′ victorinoX – the famous swiss army knives

89′ elia replaces robben. another typical blond, fatty dutchman

91′ 3-2 and the uruguayans have 1 more minute of vain hope

92′ lol. the referee whistles, the dutch think it’s over, but it was just a yellow card for bommel

over. distant memories. argentina, 1978. you’re too old if you remember such things

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