juche

the glorious defeat of north korea, humiliated by the portuguese (7-0) at the world cup (of soccer, sucker!) brings old memories. now their leader cannot say that ‘it is yet another proof of the superiority of our juche system over the putrid capitalism’.

what’s that juche thing? well, it’s the north-korean idea of living in their own juice. it’s philosophically related to wanking. it is a pseudo-theory made official by the father of the dude with women’s eyeglasses who’s now ruling in pyongyang. it goes back to the time when the soviet spies stole from the japanese the blueprints of a machine to convert shit into food. the soviet built it up and starting producing. after a while, the machine began to output shit, instead of meat. reluctantly, the soviets admitted they stole the patented idea, and they called in some japanese experts. these took a look at the machine, which seemed ok, then took samples, made some analyses, and gave their verdict: ‘this shit you’re using was already eaten more than three times’.

meanwhile, the soviets sort of moved ahead from those idiotic times. the north koreans didn’t. there were rumors in south africa that some of their players have defected. to prove they didn’t, the team allowed the media to their last training session. the reporters saw the right number of players – some say that there were even one or two extra, compared to the official figure. anyway, no one could tell if they were the real players or some guys rushed in from the chinese embassy in botswana.

those of the players who will return home after this disaster face hard times. no more extra rations of dog stew, as they used to have in reward for performing under the national colors. back to cockroaches and bark, like everybody else. tree bark – let’s be clear. in fact, there must be years since the last dog bark in north korea.

why a text with so much hatred? because. nothing against the ordinary people there; it’s hardly their fault. most of them were born when the cards were already dealt. what can one do? it’s hard to imagine what it’s like to live in a country like that, to risk prison or death for a joke, and to live with the certainty that you will be shot on the spot if you try any protest. a victory at the world cup would have been only another opportunity for the propaganda. that’s why i’m glad they were not simply outclassed, but merely ridiculed. deep inside, even the brainwashed know juche is a failure. their dictator knows it, too.

there’s no reason for the free world to reason with, talk seriously to, negotiate with, or being politically correct towards such a regime. we’re wrong if we miss any opportunity to spit the truth in jong-dick’s face. you’re not a great leader, mac! and when you’re done with eating your own shit 1000 times, you will be simply recycled as dog food.

hang on, koreans! he’s not immortal! and you, you’re not better than your brothers in the south, or than the rest of the world. but you’re surely no worse. i look forward to a day when you’ll join the rest of us, and line up a decent team, and manage a respectable score against portugal. like 0-3.

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